Give to gain: Why senior women in HR must stop waiting to be recognized

In Asia, senior female HR leaders face a consistent pattern: they're experts at advocating for others while remaining invisible themselves.

They sit at conference tables in financial services firms, manufacturing plants, shipping giants and automotive companies. They're surrounded by colleagues with decades of technical experience. They calibrate constantly: too much "people language" and they get dismissed. Too assertive and they lose relational credibility.

So they adjust. They wait to be recognized. They assume their competency will speak for itself.

It doesn't.

Why waiting doesn't work

In many Asian business cultures, there's a deeply ingrained belief that your competency will speak for itself. In particular, women think that if you keep your head down and do excellent work, eventually, people will notice. This belief is particularly strong in Chinese culture, where self-promotion is not the norm.

Except in commercial environments, waiting doesn't work. While you're being humble and letting your work speak, your male colleagues are speaking for themselves. They're articulating their value. They're asking for what they want. They're getting promoted.

How often have you walked into meetings where you're the only woman (and often, the only HR person)? It’s certainly happened to me! Your business leaders expect you to keep up with financial metrics and operational efficiency. But they also expect you to be nurturing and supportive. After all, that's what HR does, right?

This isn't just perception. The 2024 Global Human Resources Census (published by Marc Effron and The Talent Strategy Group) found that 55% of male HR leaders aspire to become CHROs, compared to only 43% of female HR leaders. The ambition difference is real.

Building credibility is not optional

Here's what actually works in these environments: speak business language first.

Catherine Chow, Head of HR at Nestlé Hong Kong, learned this early in her 20-year career across manufacturing, automotive, and supply chain industries in Asia Pacific. "I don't want them to talk down to me or try to mansplain something to me because I [already] understand what they're talking about," she said. She realized she needed to equip herself to understand their language first—not so they would adjust how they spoke when she was in the room, but so they wouldn't need to.

Understand how your division makes money. Know the operational constraints. Show up with data that connects to the bottom line. When you prove you understand their pain points and can solve their problems, the dynamic shifts. Trust builds gradually through consistent problem-solving until they view you as an equal partner.

That's when your strategic recommendations start landing.

The self-advocacy gap

But business acumen alone isn't enough. You also need to learn the skill that doesn't come naturally—advocating for yourself.

As HR professionals, you're trained to be behind the scenes, set everything up for everyone else and make other people successful.

The dark side? You become invisible.

You expertly navigate a tricky employee relations issue, but dismiss it as "just listening." You lead a successful transformation initiative, but frame it as "supporting the business." You develop the entire leadership pipeline, but credit goes to the executives you developed.

This pattern shows up in coaching conversations constantly. When asked "What are your strengths?", senior female HR leaders immediately list their weaknesses. "I don't have M&A experience." "I don't speak Mandarin." "I've never worked in Europe."

They focus on what they lack instead of what they bring.

Three practices to shift from giving to gaining

1.      Articulate your value explicitly

Stop assuming people know what you do. When you successfully resolve a complex employee situation, document it. When your retention initiative saves the company money, quantify it. When your leadership development program produces results, share the metrics.

Create a running list of your business impact and update it monthly. Use it in performance reviews, promotion discussions, and job interviews.

2.      Voice your aspirations without guilt

In commercial environments, waiting for opportunities doesn't work. You need to tell people what you want.

This feels uncomfortable. You've been taught not to be pushy. But there's a difference between being pushy and being clear.

Frame it in a way that serves both you and the business: "I'm ready to take on more strategic responsibility, particularly in the area of organizational design. I believe this would strengthen my ability to support the business transformation you're planning."

There’s no need to apologize for asking for what you want. Being clear is kind.

3.      Build your network before you need it

Senior women in HR often realize too late that they don't have a network. They've been tapped on the shoulder for roles. They've moved up internally. They've never actually had to look for a job.

Until they do.

Start now. Set small goals like having two coffee meetings a month with peers outside your organization or attending one industry event per quarter. Stay connected with executive search consultants in your market.

Because when you are looking for a new opportunity, you'll need these relationships already established.

The "Give to Gain" reframe

The 2026 IWD theme of “Give to Gain” centers on mutual benefit. It's not about taking. It's about recognizing that advocating for yourself benefits everyone.

When you advocate for yourself, you give other women permission to do the same. When you claim credit for your work, you make the invisible labor of HR visible. When you ask for what you want, you show the next generation that it's possible.

You've spent your career making other people successful. What would happen if you applied that same energy to your own advancement?

Because the business needs you operating at your highest level. And that only happens when you stop giving everything away and start gaining what you've earned.

To hear more insights from Catherine Chow, Head of HR at Nestlé Hong Kong, check out the full episode of the “Women in HR” podcast here.

I work with female senior leaders in Human Resources who feel stuck to help them love their work or find work they love. I write about:

👂 Executive & career coaching

📄 Career development and career transition

🎯 Job search strategy

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