I left my HR job because I wasn't "morally flexible" enough. Here's why that matters for YOUR career

Have you ever thought about leaving your HR job? Just walking away from it all?

I certainly did (many times). And eventually I did, the result of a manufactured voluntary redundancy that got me out of the HRBP role that was draining my soul and my energy.

You and I are not alone. According to the recently released "The HR Mental Wellbeing Report 2025," 42% of HR professionals in the UK are considering leaving the profession. That is nearly half of all HR professionals surveyed.

This data comes from UK-based HR professionals in small companies and SMEs (under 250 employees), but if you're in HR anywhere, they probably sound familiar. The specific percentages might vary by region and company size, but the underlying issues are universal.

Why HR professionals are at breaking point

The report identifies six reasons why HR professionals are thinking about throwing in the towel. Sadly, none of these are new. They all resonate with me and are things I hear from my coaching clients all the time:

1. The emotional toll - HR absorbs everyone's stress, trauma, and frustration. But who supports them?

2. Increased workloads - Compliance, AI adoption, RTO mandates, wellbeing, change management. The expectation to "do more with less" is never-ending.

3. Stuck in the middle - HR is expected to balance employee needs with organizational demands, leading to impossible contradictions.

4. The blame game - HR is the first to get blamed when things go wrong, but ironically, they don't have any power to change systemic issues.

5. Lack of recognition/reward - HR's contribution is often invisible yet they keep things moving in the background, like a well-oiled machine.

6. Moral flexibility - HR is often forced to execute actions and policies that conflict with their values (like poorly managed redundancies) which erodes trust over time.

I really recognize myself in #3, #4 and #6. In fact, one of the key reasons I needed to walk away from my Head of HR job at a fintech was that I just wasn't morally flexible enough to be in the role.

Here's what that looked like in practice: My CEO would say illegal things to employees, agree with initiatives one day then cancel them the next, and generally expect me to agree with everything he said instead of challenging things that were immoral, illegal or worse.

The final straw came when he fired an employee without telling me. The employee had already walked out of the building by the time I was aware that anything had happened. I was both infuriated and confused. Why have a HR Head if you aren't going to use them for the things they are good at - managing disgruntled employees while mitigating organizational risk?

The cost of losing good HR leaders

When HR walks away, organizations pay the price. I've seen it firsthand: higher attrition, toxic cultures left unchecked, and employee relations issues that spiral because there's no one with the skill to contain them. When I left my HR Head role at the fintech, they cycled through one HR leader after another, replacing them on an almost yearly basis. Good HR leaders are organizational shock absorbers. When they leave, those shocks start hitting everyone else.

What you can do right now

More resilience workshops or another generic wellbeing app is not going to solve this problem. Organizations need to recognize that HR's mental health isn't just a nice-to-have. It's business-critical.

But while we wait for organizations to catch up, you don't have to keep struggling alone.

If you're one of the 42% thinking about leaving, or if you recognize yourself in these statistics, here's what you can do right now:

1. Take stock of your own wellbeing. Use the same tools you'd recommend to others. Here are a few that I often use with my clients:

• Circle of control

• Wheel of emotions

• Curve ball change curve

2. Build your support network. Connect with other HR professionals who understand what you're going through. You're not alone in this. Check out the Women in HR Community for Singapore and Hong Kong in-house HR professionals or check out my HR Community Market Map for networks in your location (coming soon!).

Ask yourself: If money weren't an object and judgment didn't exist, what would I do differently?

3. Get clear on what you need to change. Ask yourself: If money weren't an object and judgment didn't exist, what would I do differently? Write down your answer. That's your starting point for change - whether it's setting new boundaries in your current role or exploring what's next outside of HR.

The profession needs good HR leaders like you. But not at the cost of your mental health.

If you're ready to move from surviving to thriving in your HR career, let's talk. Book a confidential conversation here.

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I work with female senior leaders in Human Resources who feel stuck to help them love their work or find work they love. I write about:

👂 Executive & career coaching

📄 Career development and career transition

🎯 Job search strategy

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