You can't afford to make a mistake (and that's exactly what's keeping you stuck)

"I can't afford to make the wrong choice."

This is what senior HR leaders tell me when we talk about their next career move. It’s not "I can't afford to change," but "I can't afford to get this wrong."

You're the breadwinner. Your family depends on your income. Your 4-year-old is in international school. You're thinking about a second child. Your rent is substantial. Your aging parents rely on you for financial support.

With this much riding on your salary, how can you possibly risk making a mistake?

Stuck in analysis mode

What’s interesting is that you're not avoiding change because you'd necessarily earn less (in fact, you’d probably earn more in the right role). You're avoiding change because the stakes feel impossibly high.

What if you leave for what looks like a better opportunity and it turns out to be worse? What if you make a lateral move and regret it? What if the new company does layoffs six months in and you are LIFO? What if your new boss is a toxic bully?

This crazy market isn't helping either. Right now, many people are "job hugging" - staying in roles longer than they want to because they're terrified of being last in, first out. Every day, you see LinkedIn posts about brutal hiring processes, ghosting recruiters, and roles that disappear after final interviews.

So, you wait. You want to be 100% certain before you move. You need guarantees. You research endlessly, talk to headhunters, and browse job postings at 2am. But you never actually apply because you just aren’t sure.

Meanwhile, your current role is draining you. Late night calls followed by early morning emergencies. Endless meetings that should have been emails. HR tech that is supposed to solve all of your problems but only makes your life harder. Worrying about your team burning out, so you take on more work so they won’t quit.

But hey, at least it's predictable. At least you know what you're getting. Better the devil you know, right? Right?

The real cost of waiting

But waiting for certainty is the riskiest financial strategy of all. While you're frozen in analysis paralysis, you're:

• Watching your skills become less relevant as you coast in a role you can do in your sleep

• Burning professional bridges as you become increasingly disengaged

• Damaging your reputation as your performance suffers from lack of motivation

• Missing salary increases and promotions you could be getting elsewhere

• Reducing your market value by staying too long in the wrong place

I worked with a Head of HR who stayed in a toxic role for three years because she couldn't afford to make a mistake. She was the primary earner. The risk felt too high.

Then her company did a restructuring and made her redundant anyway.

All that time spent trying to avoid risk, and the risk found her anyway. Except now she was job searching from a position of desperation instead of strength, after three years of having her confidence eroded by her toxic boss.

Why this happens to HR leaders 

Here's what's interesting: this pattern isn't a character flaw. Through working with dozens of senior HR leaders and reviewing their Hogan assessment results, I've found that nearly every leader shows high-risk scores for becoming overly cautious under stress. When the stakes are highest, these leaders become risk-averse and hesitant to make bold decisions. Many also score high on the value of security, meaning they gravitate toward stability and predictability.

These traits served you well while you were building your career. Caution and careful planning helped you rise to a senior level. But now these same strengths are keeping you stuck.

Staying put isn't the safe choice. It's just a different kind of risk: one that compounds quietly over time.

Your path forward

I know you feel like you can't afford to get this wrong. But avoiding all risk isn’t the answer. Consider how you can:

Make informed bets on yourself. You've successfully navigated your career for 15-20 years. You've made good decisions before. Why assume you'll suddenly make terrible ones now?

Understand that perfect information doesn't exist. You will never be 100% certain. No job comes with guarantees. The question you want to ask yourself is, "How can I make the smartest possible decision with imperfect information?"

Recognize opportunity cost. Every year in the wrong role costs you—in salary growth, skills development, professional relationships, and mental health. These costs are real, even if they don't show up on a balance sheet.

Leverage your HR expertise. You help other people make complex career decisions all the time. You can do it for yourself too. You just need the right framework and support.

Move strategically in a tough market. Building relationships, clarifying your value proposition, and making moves while still employed gives you a competitive advantage.

Your action step

What’s the career move you want to make but feel like its too risky to pursue? Regional Head of HR? Head of OD? HR Business Partner Lead? Write it down. Then answer these questions:

·       What's the worst that could happen? (Not catastrophic thinking. Be realistic.)

·       What's the best that could happen?

·       What's the financial cost of staying where you are for another year? Two years?

·       If your best friend had this exact situation, what would you advise them to do?

This exercise isn't about eliminating your fear. It's about helping you see clearly whether your risk assessment is accurate or whether perfectionism is keeping you stuck.

If the fear of making a mistake is costing you more than the mistake itself would, let's talk. I can help.

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I work with female senior leaders in Human Resources who feel stuck to help them love their work or find work they love. I write about:

👂 Executive & career coaching

📄 Career development and career transition

🎯 Job search strategy

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