When I joined Barclays as a Recruiter, my manager, Vicki would never give me a straight answer.
Whenever I asked her a question, she would respond with, “Well, what do you think?” or, “What approach would you take to solving that problem?”.
It drove me nuts.
During the first few months that we worked together, it completely threw me off. I never knew how to answer her and I always felt really stupid.
I had a problem! I needed her help! She was my manager! Why wasn’t she solving my problem?
Her style was completely different from my old manager at UBS, who was much more directing and authoritative. I thought to myself, “Maybe this is what it is like to report to an HR Business Partner instead of the Head of Talent Acquisition. Maybe they all talk like this…”
After a while, I realized that Vicki was using coaching techniques to try to manage me. She wanted me to think through issues and try to come up with a couple of potential solutions on my own (or at least some options for how I would approach the situation), without her having to tell me.
This approach is intended to serve two purposes.
First, I would already be bought into the solution because I had originated it (at least partly) myself.
Second, I would excel more quickly in my role because I would harness my problem-solving skills and become my own trouble-shooter. I wouldn’t always need a boss to help me sort out my problems. I could learn to get halfway there on my own. Then I could use my boss as a sounding board to test out my theories and ideas and get a steer in the right direction, rather than simply following exactly what she told me to do.
To many HR leaders, this will sound very familiar. Incorporating coaching techniques into the businesses that you lead has been a popular idea for the better part of the last decade. “Increasingly, coaching is becoming integral to the fabric of a learning culture—a skill that good managers at all levels need to develop and deploy.” (HBR, 2019). Many organizations have introduced coaching techniques to their managers to improve employee engagement, encourage employees to drive their own development and to give employees more ownership over their work.
So as a senior leader in Human Resources, how can you remove your “manager” hat and put on your “coach” hat? As you already know, coaching is not mentoring. Coaching is not managing. Coaching is about asking, not telling. So how can you be both a manager and a coach at the same time? In fact, “manager as coach” presents a challenging dynamic. A successful coaching partnership relies on the two parties having an equal footing and commitment to the relationship. In a manager/employee relationship, there is always a power imbalance, even if you “take off your manager hat” and “put on your coaching hat.”
That said, there is definitely value in incorporating coaching techniques into your management style. If you can embed coaching principles into your HR team, they can in turn, embed those principles into the businesses and managers they support. Let’s look at five changes you can make to your management style that could have a big impact.
1. Ask open-ended questions
You are already familiar with open-ended questions from recruiting and conducting interviews. A similar method is used in coaching. Open questions start with what, where, how, when, who (but not why since this can imply criticism). Open questions invite further discussion. You can follow them up with supplementary questions such as “What else?” or statements like “Tell me more.” Closed questions can be useful if you are trying to clarify information, but should be used sparingly. Examples of closed questions start with “Did you?, Can you…? Will you…, etc.”
2. Listen
Active listening is not new but it’s hard to be disciplined about it when you have a million things on your to-do list. Paraphrase, summarize and reflect back what you hear; clarify when needed; and withhold judgement. When you have a coaching conversation with your team, try to remove all other distractions (easier said than done, right?!). This includes the running to-do list in your mind, your inbox, your notifications on your phone and even checking your watch. Try to be fully present and listen for both verbal and non-verbal cues (eye contact, facial expressions, body language, etc).
3. Don’t speak.
Then… wait for it… don’t speak. You’ve probably heard coaches use the phrase “hold the space” and wondered what the heck that meant. It literally means that you should shut up and let your employee speak. Don’t correct them. Don’t argue with their point of view or try to get them to agree with you. Just listen. Nod. Take the occasional note. Ask some questions here and there. Your main objective should be to let your employee feel heard. Sounds simple, but it’s not easy.
4. Check-in
Coaching takes longer than managing. When you manage, you tell your team what needs to get done and they do it. When you coach, you partner with your team to explore the possible options and work together to settle on the one that is the most appropriate. This change in the relationship dynamic might take some getting used to. Heck, they might even be confused (like I was with Vicky!) about the new expectations. Check-in with your team to see how (and if) you can help. Do they need your support to keep them accountable to what they are working on? Agree together on a check-in frequency that makes sense and then stick to it.
5. Be intentional
Incorporating coaching techniques into your management style will feel uncomfortable at first. Your team may look at you like you have three heads and wonder why you aren’t solving their problems. But stick with it. Consistency is the only thing that drives real change. Be intentional about how, when and where you will try these techniques. Write yourself a note before you go into a meeting or set reminders on your calendar. Tell your team that you are trying a coaching approach and ask for their feedback and their help in keeping you accountable to this goal.
Does coaching take up more of your management time? In the short-term, yes… maybe. But in the long-term, you are facilitating your team to develop the critical thinking and problem-solving skills that will help them grow and develop. This is exactly what you are doing for the broader organization in your role as a senior HR leader; now, in microcosm, you can do it for your own team.
At Barclays, Vicki pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I designed and managed projects to help improve the recruitment function, ultimately leading me to a promotion to lead the team a short time later. The following year, I received an internal transfer to become an HR Business Partner, utilizing the transferable skills I gained working in recruitment. I wouldn’t have gotten there without Vicki.
In the long-run, your HR team will be empowered, and become more self-sufficient and capable, allowing you to give them bigger projects that free up more of your time. Your business stakeholders will notice how well your team supports them and how it’s impacted the success of their own businesses.
And all of that is possible by implementing these five coaching techniques that will have a big impact on your HR team. Give them a try today.
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