The weight of being always "on": when HR leadership becomes exhausting

"I'm just so tired," she said during our coaching session, her voice carrying the weight of months of late-night calls and weekend "emergencies." As a senior HR leader, she'd been operating in crisis mode so long that being "always on" had become her default state.

In my experience, many senior HR leaders find themselves in this constant state of readiness, always prepared to handle whatever comes next, leaving even the most passionate professionals questioning whether they can continue at this pace.

The reality of always being "on"

"I always have to be 'on,'" another client told me, describing how she felt like she couldn't relax even during her supposed downtime. She was constantly checking her slack messages on the weekends when she was supposed to be watching her daughter’s soccer game.

Whether it's managing office politics, handling sensitive employee relations issues, or dealing with leadership changes that create criticism and rework, the mental load never stops for HR leaders. You're expected to have all the answers, even when you don't have the answers yourself. This takes a toll that's often invisible to others.

The cycle: super busy or super bored

One of the most telling patterns I see with senior HR leaders is the lack of middle ground: you're either super busy or super bored, with nothing in between. During busy periods, you work like a maniac, barely coming up for air. Then, when things quiet down, you're left feeling unstimulated and questioning your value.

This cycle is draining because it prevents you from ever finding a sustainable rhythm. You can't plan, you can't relax, and you certainly can't prioritize what really deserves space on your calendar. I know several HR leaders who literally have NO hobbies outside of work, because they’ve never dedicated space for themselves outside of their roles. The constant state of reactive mode leaves them feeling like they’re running on a hamster wheel—lots of motion, but no real progress.

When "I just don't care about this anymore"

The most telling moment comes when you catch yourself thinking, "I just don't care about this anymore." This isn't laziness or lack of commitment—it's your mind's way of protecting itself from the relentless demands. When you've been giving everything for so long without adequate recognition or support, emotional detachment becomes a natural response.

Change fatigue sets in after navigating countless organizational shifts, leadership changes, and crises that aren't truly emergencies but are treated as such. The straw that breaks the camel's back often isn't one big event—it's the accumulation of always being "on" without reprieve.

Reclaiming your energy and boundaries

Being an effective HR leader doesn't require being "on" every moment. I used to think that this was true until I realized how wrong I was. Your value isn't measured by constant vigilance—it's measured by your strategic thinking, your ability to solve complex problems, and your skill in developing people and culture.

Create space for yourself, no matter what others might say. This might mean protecting time for strategic thinking, blocking time on your calendar to pick up your kids or recognizing that not every situation requires your immediate attention. Remember: you can't pour from an empty cup.

Ready to get off the hamster wheel?

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I work with female senior leaders in Human Resources who feel stuck to help them love their work or find work they love. I write about:

👂 Executive & career coaching

📄 Career development and career transition

🎯 Job search strategy

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