The Forgotten Caretakers: Reclaiming Wellbeing for Senior Female HR Leaders

Senior female HR leaders face a unique challenge: they champion everyone else's wellbeing while often neglecting their own. This silent struggle impacts not only their personal fulfilment but ultimately the effectiveness of their organizations.

When the Caretakers Need Care

HR is often viewed as a "forgotten function" in many organizations, despite its critical role in organizational success. The perception that HR work is "easy" undermines the complexity of the role and contributes to widespread imposter syndrome among even the most accomplished HR professionals.

HR is expected to be so many things: culture carrier, babysitter, camp counsellor, legal guru, compliance fiend, automated 'no' inbox, strategic problem solver and so much more. With that level of complexity, it's no wonder that many HR leaders doubt their abilities.

The Double Burden

For female HR leaders, the caretaker role typically extends beyond the workplace. They often find themselves supporting aging parents and young children at home while simultaneously managing the needs of their executive teams and entire organizations.

This dual burden takes a significant personal toll, manifesting as burnout, decreased engagement, and career stagnation. Many experience the "Sunday night dread" – lying awake at 3am, questioning whether they can continue in roles they once loved.

The past five years have been especially challenging for HR professionals, who navigated a global pandemic, remote work transitions, talent shortages, and subsequent layoffs. Many are simply exhausted from taking care of everyone else while trying to find what little is left for themselves.

Signs of Positive Change

Fortunately, recognition of this struggle is growing. Recent years have seen the emergence of communities dedicated to HR professionals, podcasts hosted by in-house HR leaders, and conferences focused specifically on HR leadership. New research is finally asking HR leaders "How are YOU doing?" instead of just "How is your BUSINESS doing?"

These external support networks connect HR professionals across different organizations who understand each other's unique challenges without the complications of internal politics. This is particularly valuable for those in "one-man band" roles who benefit from having a sounding board.

Breaking the Cycle

Organizations that want to retain talented HR leaders should focus on three critical areas:

1. Creating psychological safety for HR leaders to acknowledge when they're struggling. The irony isn't lost that those championing psychological safety often don't experience it themselves.

2. Investing in personalized development that helps HR professionals recognize and leverage their unique strengths. Generic training isn't enough – targeted coaching that addresses individual needs can help HR leaders get "unstuck."

3. Normalizing career reflection as an ongoing practice rather than a crisis response. Regular career conversations can help HR leaders stay engaged and passionate about their work.

Rediscovering Your Strengths as an HR Leader

Many HR professionals that I work with struggle to articulate their unique value proposition in a constantly changing landscape. Having spent years developing others, they've become "hidden gems" – valuable but not fully recognized, even by themselves. The process of rediscovery often reveals core strengths that HR leaders have taken for granted because they come so naturally – strengths like empathy, integrity, emotional intelligence, adaptability, and cultural awareness.

From Stuck to Strong

When HR leaders commit to prioritizing their own development, the benefits extend beyond personal wellbeing into more compelling advocacy, more innovative approaches, and more impactful relationships with senior leadership.

The paradox of HR leadership is that by focusing on their own wellbeing first, leaders become more effective champions for organizational wellbeing. By reconnecting with their innate strengths, HR executives can move from feeling stuck to driving meaningful transformation.

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I work with female senior leaders in Human Resources who feel stuck to help them love their work or find work they love. Like this newsletter? Please sign-up, share + follow me if you found this interesting. I write about:

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