"I'm never going to get a new job" (and other lies we tell ourselves)

"I'm never going to get a new job." 

"My identity is attached to my job." 

"Maybe I should just settle for anything."

If these thoughts sound familiar, you're not alone. After months of rejections and silence, even the most accomplished HR leaders start believing these fixed mindset stories. These thoughts could be sabotaging you and keeping you stuck in a job search that goes nowhere.

Fixed vs. growth mindset

The difference between a successful job search and one that drags on for months often comes down to mindset. Women with fixed mindsets tell themselves stories that keep them small and stuck.

Fixed mindset says:

• "My identity is my job title."

• "If I'm not getting interviews, I must not be good enough."

• "The market is terrible. There's no point trying."

Growth mindset says:

• "I have transferable skills that create value everywhere."

• "Each rejection teaches me something new about my approach."

• "This is an opportunity to explore paths I never considered."

  
  

Growth mindset in action

In our first coaching session, my client asked me, “What’s the key difference that I see between those who land jobs quickly, and those who don’t.” Without hesitation, I said, “Mindset.” From the incredulous look on her face, I knew she didn’t believe me. But it’s true. In all of my years of coaching, and specifically with supporting leaders who are looking for a new role, mindset matters more than anything else – even qualifications, relationships and resumes.

Or consider Sarah who had been in her role as the HR Manager at an accounting firm for 10 years when she was passed over for the HR Director promotion. The rejection hurt her confidence and made her feel like she wasn’t good enough to get an HRD role elsewhere. Working together, we helped Sarah move out of that fixed mindset. When she shifted into the growth mindset, she was able to see her strengths, reclaim her confidence and leave behind the negativity of her previous work environment. This enabled her to interview with confidence and authenticity. Within just 3 months, she landed a new role as the HR Director at an aviation company.

"What if this search led me to something even better than what I was originally looking for?"

Reframing

Here's what I want you to try: Next time you catch yourself thinking "I'll never find anything," reframe it: "What if this search led me to something even better than what I was originally looking for?"

Feel the shift? That single reframe moves you from victim to strategist. The same strengths  that make you effective in HR—relationship building, strategic thinking, problem-solving, and emotional intelligence—are exactly what you need to navigate your next career move.

Women with a growth mindset don't just find jobs—they find opportunities that excite them. They see rejections as data points rather than personal failures. They view their job search as a strategic project with clear objectives and measurable outcomes. The women who are breaking through aren't necessarily the most qualified on paper—they're the ones who have mastered the mindset shift from limitation to possibility.

Are you ready to make that shift?

Remember: You've successfully navigated organizational changes, difficult conversations, and complex people challenges. If you can do that, you can definitely navigate your next career move—and find something even better than what you originally thought possible.

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I work with female senior leaders in Human Resources who feel stuck to help them love their work or find work they love. I write about:

👂 Executive & career coaching

📄 Career development and career transition

🎯 Job search strategy

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