Why you have no one to call when your HR career hits a crisis

You've been to a few networking events over the years. You might be in one or two professional associations. Your LinkedIn has some connections from past roles. But you haven't really invested in building your network because, honestly, you've been too busy just doing your job.

Then something happens. You get passed over for a promotion. Your company announces layoffs in HR. You realize the CEO is never going to value HR. Or you wake up at 3am asking "Is this all there is?"

Suddenly, you need support. You need advice. You need someone who gets it. And you realize: you

don't have anyone to call.

Why networking feels impossible

Most HR leaders I work with didn't neglect networking because they're antisocial. Some are naturally introverted and dread walking into a room full of strangers. Others are already exhausted from spending all day building relationships with demanding stakeholders. The last thing they want is another evening of "relationship building." And for those with young kids, choosing between professional networking and bathtime isn't really a choice at all.

There's also imposter syndrome. When you're already doubting yourself, the idea of putting yourself out there feels terrifying. What if people discover you don't have it all figured out? What if everyone else seems more confident, more successful, more strategic?

So, you tell yourself you'll do it later. When things calm down. When year-end process is over. When you set your 2026 objectives. When the kids are older. When you feel more confident.

The problem is that you can't build a meaningful network when you're desperate. When you're already stuck, every networking interaction feels transactional. You're not connecting authentically.

You're searching for someone to fix your immediate problem.

And people can tell.

What you actually need (and don't have)

When my clients describe feeling stuck, they use remarkably similar language: "I feel so alone." "I don't know who to talk to about this." "I can't discuss this with anyone at work." What they're missing isn't connections. It's a trusted sounding board.

Someone who understands the specific isolation of being the HR leader. Someone who won't judge them for not having all the answers. Someone who isn't their boss, their mentor who's about to retire, or their partner who's tired of the same conversation.

Here's what makes that kind of support system actually useful:

Confidentiality. You need people outside your company who won't accidentally share your struggles at the next industry event.

Shared context. You need people who understand what it's like to be the only HR person, or to be told you're "not strategic enough" despite 15 years of proven results.

Ongoing relationships. You need people who already know your situation when crisis hits, not strangers you're meeting for the first time when you're desperate.

Where to start when you've waited too long

If you're reading this and thinking "This is me! I should have built my network years ago," don't panic. You can start now, but you need to be intentional.

Take a look at the HR landscape in Hong Kong and Singapore. I've created a market map to help you understand your options:

• Professional associations (HKIHRM, IHRP, SHRI, SHRM): Good for certification and training, but often too formal for vulnerable conversations.

• Large conferences (Transform Talent, HR Tech Asia): Useful for trends and ideas, but you'll struggle to build deep relationships in crowds of hundreds.

• Headhunter events (ChapmanCG, Frazer Jones): Valuable when you're ready to move, but are they invested in your growth when you're not actively looking?

• Casual meetups (HR in the Pub, local communities): Fun for socializing. But do conversations stay at the surface level?

None of these are bad. They all serve important purposes. The problem is when these become your only network, and none of them provide what you actually need when you're stuck: a trusted sounding board.

The market map (download it here) can help you identify which communities align with what you actually need right now. Use it to identify the gaps in your current network. Maybe you're over-indexed on large conferences but missing intimate peer connections. Or perhaps you've focused on certifications but haven't built relationships with HR leaders who truly understand your challenges.

Building support without the exhausting networking

Here's what I've learned from building communities like HR Salon, Hacking HR Hong Kong, and HR in the Pub over the years. The HR leaders who thrive aren't necessarily the ones attending every event. They're the ones who found low-pressure ways to build genuine relationships over time.

This is why I created the Women in HR Community. I kept hearing from experienced HR leaders who were stuck and had nowhere to turn. Many were introverts who dreaded traditional networking. Some had young kids and couldn't commit to frequent evening events. Others were dealing with imposter syndrome and needed a safe space to be vulnerable.

The Women in HR Community is designed specifically for solo HR leaders and women feeling isolated even in large organizations. Daily peer support through WhatsApp means you can connect from home after your kids are asleep. Monthly virtual professional development sessions eliminate the commute and the small talk anxiety. Quarterly in-person networking events are small, intimate, and optional.

You're building relationships continuously, not forcing yourself to "network" when you're already exhausted.

We're running a pilot in Singapore now, with Hong Kong launching in January 2026.

Your next step

If you're stuck right now and don't know who to call, start with the market map to understand your options. Then ask yourself: do I want to keep waiting until the next crisis to build my support system?

The community you need exists. And it doesn't require you to become someone you're not.

If you're in Singapore or Hong Kong and this resonates, I'd love to talk about whether the Women in HR Community is right for you. Because you shouldn't have to figure out your career alone.

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I work with female senior leaders in Human Resources who feel stuck to help them love their work or find work they love. I write about:

👂 Executive & career coaching

📄 Career development and career transition

🎯 Job search strategy

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