Twenty years in HR and a milestone birthday -- and the hardest career to figure out is still your own

Last week's article struck a nerve.

The comments told me that a lot of senior HR women are sitting with the same question: "Does my career still work for my life?" And that simply having it acknowledged out loud felt like a relief.

But relief only gets you so far. At some point, the question needs an answer.

So, this week, I want to take it one step further. Not with a career overhaul or a five-year plan, but with something more practical: a way to start finding your own clarity.

Why clarity is harder than it sounds

Here's the thing about being an HR leader at this stage of your career. You are genuinely good at helping other people untangle career problems that feels bigger than they are.

And yet, when it's your turn to sit in that chair, the tools don't work the same way. You've spent years carrying everyone else's career anxiety, with very little bandwidth left to sit with your own.

Your identity is so tied to this role and this function that imagining something different feels disorienting rather than exciting.

And honestly, nobody ever asks you the right questions.

What happened when Rita started asking them

Rita was the hardest working person at her international school -- and that was the problem. After eight years as an HR Lead, she was working longer hours than even the teachers, taking on everything that didn't fit elsewhere, and regularly working nights and weekends. Her perfectionism and loyalty had left her stuck between her administrative past and her strategic future. She kept asking herself: "Is it me?"

There was something else adding weight to that question. Rita had a milestone birthday on the horizon—the kind of birthday that has a way of making you take stock of where you are in your career and whether that still makes sense. With Rita it became part of our coaching conversations—not as a deadline, but as a prompt to get honest about what the next chapter actually needed to look like.

Through coaching, Rita changed her entire approach to work. She established boundaries that reclaimed her evenings, found her voice to push back on last-minute requests, let go of perfectionism, and identified her strengths to write a new story for her career's next phase.

She didn't blow up her career. She got clear on it. And that clarity helped her to move forward into her next chapter.

Five questions nobody has asked you

These are the five questions I come back to again and again with clients who are at exactly this juncture. They're not complicated. They just require honesty.

1. What are my goals? Take a moment to reflect on your career goals as an HR leader. What's holding you back? Is it fear of change, lack of confidence, or something else? Identifying the root cause honestly is the starting point for everything else. Without it, you're solving the wrong problem.

2. What new opportunities can I explore? This isn't just about external job postings. Look at what exists within your current organization, and consider networking with HR peers in other industries. Sometimes the opportunity you need is closer than you think.

3. Who is on my support team? Senior HR leadership is a lonely function. You're expected to have all the answers, but you rarely have a peer group to turn to with your own questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help. A mentor, a trusted colleague, or a coach can be the sounding board that makes the difference between staying stuck and moving forward.

4. How can I take some calculated risks? Clarity without action stays theoretical. Think about what you could try as an experiment—a stretch assignment, a new certification, a conversation you've been putting off. Not every experiment succeeds and not every experiment needs to be huge. Even a tiny step can make a difference. None of them will succeed if you don't start.

5. What is my plan? Once you have some clarity, write it down. Outline the specific steps you'll take and when. A plan doesn't need to be perfect to be useful—it just needs to be concrete enough to act on. Start, even if you aren’t ready.

If last week's article left you thinking "yes, that's me" and you're ready to move from recognition to action, download the full resource below. It includes all five questions with space to work through your answers. 

Link: news.rchrconsulting.com/fivekeyquestions

And if you work through them and still feel stuck, that's useful information too. It might be time for a proper conversation. My calendar is open if you'd like to have one.

I work with female senior leaders in Human Resources who feel stuck to help them love their work or find work they love. I write about:

👂 Executive & career coaching

📄 Career development and career transition

🎯 Job search strategy

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