I have imposter syndrome. And you probably do too.
Like most HR leaders that I speak to, you never quite feel like you fit in. Being in HR can be lonely. You are both part of the business that you support and separate from it. This is partly because you have access to huge amounts of really important confidential information like compensation, promotions and restructurings. It’s hard to be friends with your business stakeholders when you know so much about them (and they know you know so much about them!). It is a tricky balance and one that can make you feel isolated as an HR leader.
You probably also wish that you were taken more seriously. The funny thing about HR is that everyone else thinks they know how to do your job. I can't count the number of times my husband (who works in IT) has mansplained to me about some HR issue while I wait for him to stop talking so I can say, "Yes, I know." Non-HR people think that HR is "easy" which makes us doubt our contribution and wonder if the complexity of the role is all in our heads. Let me set the record straight - it's not. HR is expected to be so many things: culture carrier, babysitter, camp counsellor, first aider, legal guru, compliance fiend, automated "no" inbox, strategic problem solver and so much more. With that level of complexity and varied expectations, it’s no wonder that we doubt our abilities.
That’s certainly how I felt when I was an HR Business Partner at Barclays. I didn’t have a financial services background and often felt like a fish out of water during the morning meetings or quarterly townhalls. I supported the investment banking division and my business stakeholders made many multiples of what I made in any given year. They wore designer clothes, attended fancy prep schools and had club memberships. I didn’t have (or want) any of those things.
In addition, I was often forced to tell my business stakeholders “no” or deliver an unpopular opinion or initiative. This could run the gamut from yet another change to the performance management process to telling managers they needed to cut their headcount by 10% or that their bonus pool had shrunk overnight. Needless to say, it didn’t make me particularly popular.
I remember sitting in long meetings with senior Managing Directors (most of them male) and waiting anxiously for my items on the agenda to come up. They would usually be at the bottom (as HR agenda items often are) and I would wish that the meeting would run over so that I wouldn't have to speak up. I didn't want to make a mistake. At the time, I didn't recognize this sort of behavior as imposter syndrome, but upon reflection, I do now.
So, what is imposter syndrome? It’s the idea that you’ve only been successful due to luck, and not because of your talent or qualifications.
So, what is imposter syndrome? It’s the idea that you’ve only been successful due to luck, and not because of your talent or qualifications. I’ve heard this time and time again from my female clients. A 2022 study from KPMG found that 75% of high-performing senior women leaders in Fortune 1000 companies had personally experienced imposter syndrome at different points in their career.
And 57% said that they most often experienced imposter syndrome when they were making a transition to a different role. In fact, this feeling of imposter syndrome can often stop us from making any kind of move at all. So many of us stay stuck in roles that we are overqualified for or that we can do in our sleep because we are too afraid to try something new.
So, what can you do about it? Here are a few tips for managing that inner critic that you often hear.
Self-reflect: Do you consistently undervalue your contributions? Do you attribute your successes to external factors, sabotage your own success, set unrealistic expectations and deadlines, or constantly fear not meeting expectations? If you notice these patterns in yourself while still achieving measurable professional success, you might be dealing with imposter syndrome.
Check-in and challenge: Choose a cue that will help you to check-in with yourself periodically throughout the day. It could be every time you refill your water bottle. Ask yourself, “Am I stuck in my own head? What’s the evidence for these thoughts?”
Ask about the past: Ditch the regret and approach things with a problem-solving mindset. Ask yourself, “What else could I have done?” This helps you to consider things factually rather than with a lens of self-judgement.
I wish I had known these tips earlier in my career. After I left Barclays, I figured I’d never really speak to most of my business stakeholders again. To my surprise, after I started coaching, a number of those senior bankers reached out to me: to take me out to lunch, seek career guidance or get HR consulting advice on their new ventures. One of them is a close mentor to this day. Even though I often felt like I didn’t know what I was doing at Barclays, it seems I made an impression and developed enough trust with my clients for that to continue into today. My clients didn’t see my imposter syndrome. They just saw me, working hard to deliver and make things better for them and their team.
Don’t let imposter syndrome derail your career. Often, you are the only person who can hear that little voice in your head, telling you that you aren’t good enough or you don’t fit in.
Struggling with imposter syndrome? Book in for a confidential conversation. I can help.
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I work with female senior leaders in Human Resources who feel stuck to help them love their work or find work they love. Like this? Please share + follow me if you found this interesting. I post about:
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